Lanserhof Institute - Day 2 'Epsom salts half an hour before breakfast'

It's been a scorcher of a day here in Kitzbuhel; the hottest day of the year I'm told.  But whilst it's been beautiful outside, the last thing I've wanted to do today is be outside.  At some point on the journey of a detoxer, they inevitably reach a 'crisis point'.  In medical terms this means that during a cleanse such as this one, it's possible for all those toxins to re-enter the bloodstream, otherwise known as 'retro-intoxication'.  In everyday terms, it simply means 'feeling utter crap'.  For some, this might manifest as nausea or numbness, some even lose their appetite or have an aversion to eating, but for me, it's been about the dizziness, fatigue and a slow building headache over my left side.  I had every intention of getting out and about today and joining the mountain bike group for a pootle around the local area but the mere thought of exercise made me come out in a hot sweat.  Still, it's good to know that once the toxins leave my body, i'll feel sprightly again.  Probably even more so.  

That's not to say I didn't start the day off well; I rose early to take part in the group morning exercise but was a bit late so I did a little cycling on the indoor bike followed by some weights, so I was rather pleased with myself.  I was gasping for some water but was 'nil by mouth' until my first round of tests were through.  On my health plan, I was scheduled for a fructose test at 8am lasting for 10 minutes, according to the time on the sheet.  But this wasn't so, I had to do the test 4 times over the course of 2 hours which meant no breakfast and no water.  I was weak from not eating since 12.30pm the following day and the blowing into the fructose test pipe thingy meant it left me even more light headed.  When the nurse said I would have to forgo breakfast I felt myself well up..i'd been looking forward to that meal all night.  I kept quiet but I think she could sense my sadness, especially when i dropped the blow pipe thingy, so said she would arrange for me to have breakfast after the test had finished.  I could've kissed her.

Before eating, I had to down a mixture of Epsom salts in lukewarm water, a process to be followed everyday, in the morning, half an hour before eating.  To say they taste vile is an understatement, but it's the aftertaste that's particularly gruesome.  But these bad boys do a whole world of good to your intestine.  The concentration of the salt solution is of a similar feel to the blood so upon drinking, it works it's way into your digestive tract in a trickling motion and doesn't irritate any of the mucas in your intestine.  It then gets to work by dissolving all the manky old residue as it works through your system towards the finish line.  I don't need to tell you what that is.  This is such a good treatment because it works on your entire body including the kidneys, skin and areas containing other potential nasties like your mouth and other 'mucous membranes'.  I have to say, i expected a massive wave of a diarrhoea-like effect to come over me, but that wasn't the case, you just go when you need to go, without any drama or pain.  These powerful little crystals are a lot more subtle then a full on onslaught but my word, do they really make your poop stink when it eventually comes out. If you think about it, there's probably years of undigested food sticking to your digestive system, especially food that's been consumed late at night or that's been shovelled down when you're in a rush.  So all of that is going to smell quite putrid when it eventually leaves your system (if at all!)  and for some, this may happen 3 times for a period of a few weeks, depending on how long you're on the cleanse for, or I guess, how bad your internals are.  For me, it happened just the once.  But trust me, once was enough.  And the joy is...I have to do it all over again for the next few days.  Oh well, at least it was done in the solitary confines of my own room and I know it's doing me the world of good.

Breakfast was eaten with a calm gusto, still chewing every mouthful a million times, but i enjoyed this simple meal.  I could taste the sweetness coming from the buckwheat bread as I chewed, the flavour of this simple thing changing.  My taste buds are starting to reset themselves already.  Even the mineral water i'm drinking is starting to taste sweet.  Does the damage we do to our gut really change the things we taste, meaning that we have to satisfy our sugar cravings more and more to compensate for the fact that we can't simply taste sweetness?

Next up was another session with the doctor who gave me a rather nice stomach massage, but something vital to my progress here (more of which tomorrow).  He himself does the process every year for around 2 weeks.  Each time, he rediscovers the quality of food simply by the chewing action.  For example, a sausage might normally taste great but when you have to chew each mouthful of sausage numerous times, that sausage ends up not tasting so good.  You can almost feel the quality of it diminishing on every chew.  So much so...you simply spit the thing out.  Where as a good quality piece of meat gets tastier every chew.  do you get my drift?  So your body naturally starts to reject that which isn't serving you well, and gives the thumbs up to those that are.  

We discussed the results of the fructose test (all fine, i'm free to eat fruit) and blood test, which was also all fine and healthy.  We looked at the results of the body mass test from yesterday.  Turns out my resting calories (the calories my body needs to get me through the day) is 1,503. If i go over this without any form of exercise, i'll start to put on weight.  Here, i'm on about 600 calories a day, so if i don't see any weight loss, i'll eat my own arm. The good news is the kind of fat i have is healthy as it's all over my body, not just concentrated in one spot.  As my muscle mass is above average, he advised cardio fitness only, i don't need to put on more muscle for the time being.  Of course, this could all change but it was reassuring to know i don't have to give myself a hard time for not lifting weights.  My ideal weight should be around 10kilos lighter then I am and because of my muscle mass, I shouldn't drop any lower.  In terms of food allergies, the only things i need to watch out for is cows milk and rather weirdly, cashew nuts.  I can have these but not all the time.  Tomorrow I have a lactose test, so let's see if other dairy products are the suspected culprits for some of my ailments.  

Today's treat was a rather lovely body treatment involving a body mask slathered all over me containing honey and olive oil before being wrapped up and left to bake in a rather hot water bath.  I did fall asleep, and it was rather lovely but i did start to get a bit too hot and claustrophobic 5 minutes before the therapist came to rescue me.  It has a deeply detoxing effect on the skin, helping to draw out more crap from my body, so I didn't mind too much.  And i did feel rather soft and smooth.

Lunch was eventful because I was allowed sheep's cheese AND turkey with the standard potato. Ooh the excitement!  I took a while to eat it, following the chewing rules, and felt nicely full.  After lunch, I braved the heat and took a stroll around the town with my camera.  It's actually quite affluent here with a Rolex shop taking centre stage amongst other high-end stores.  I purposely left my money in the hotel so i wouldn't be tempted to buy some crisps!  It was a bit hot and i started to feel dizzy so i went back to the hotel and laid by the rooftop pool in the shade and read for a few hours before having another snooze.  

Aside from the early dinner time (i was allowed a simple soup this evening), evenings here are totally uneventful.  I have caved in and am watching my iPad or else I'd go nuts.  And early bedtimes are encouraged as the sleep you get before midnight is the most important.  All those clothes I brought with me seem like a total waste of time as i'm just sitting about in either my gym kit or my swimming cossie and dressing gown.  I could think of worse things however.